A Cure For What Ails You

I am in constant search of myself; as if I am lost and my picture should be on the local news. FYI: if I ever go missing, use the weight on my driver’s license for the poster. And a flattering picture. These are my wishes… Anyway. I want to grow and to learn; to improve and to be a light to others. In my quest for discovery and enlightenment I found that the simple things in my life are really the big things for me.

My family has often kidded that I am a bloodhound. My olfaction is extremely keen, sometimes much to my annoyance. In my defense, I did once sniff out a gas leak that no one else noticed. I may have saved lives, yes, I am an everyday hero. I tend to attach memories to smells which causes me to live in the past much more than what is healthy, I’m sure. I cannot walk by an Estee Lauder counter without opening a bottle of Youth Dew and breathing in Phyllis. I can’t help myself. And instead of leaving happy, I walk away sad and alone longing for what I once had.

Last week I had a moment when the noise in my head quieted itself. I was riding my horse and enjoying the aloneness found on dirt roads and in the sound of horseshoes on the hard ground. My brain meandered over to the joys in my life; the things that truly ease my depressive nature and that silence the revolving loop of negative self-talk continually playing in my head. As quirky as it may sound, the things that I find the deepest comfort in are smells. Not the manufactured kind, but rather scents that place me in the moment instead of the past.

Horse sweat: Yes, you read that correctly. I love the smell of horses. I would probably like humans more if they could just smell like horses. It is such a sweet, warm, comforting redolence that activates the happy corners of my mind; reminding me that they are still there, only dormant, waiting for a whiff of horse. The scent reminds me that life is best when it is uncertain and unpredictable. It prompts me to live in the moment and to absorb the spontaneity of a 1200 pound animal.

Baby heads: Oh, how I love to inhale the smell of baby head. I am not sure if this scent affects me because I am a mother or if it is actually an elusive potion concocted by evolution to assure the survival of the human race. I am a word nerd, not a scientist. Anyway, it is amazing. I can be winning the marathon for “World’s Shittiest Day” and a good nose full of baby head will put it all in perspective.

Puppy Breath: That skunky smell of a tiny puppy’s breath accompanied by an actual puppy. What’s not to love? I have shared with Andy my brilliant idea of a Puppy Therapy Farm where you just fall on the ground and are “attacked” by a passel of puppies. I thought that I was being very innovative. Andy reminded me that puppies grow up and lose the puppy breath and that I was encouraging mass euthanasia of dogs (I would never intentionally do that, by the way.)

So this is my crazy formula for non-pharmaceutical anti-depressants. I’m not throwing out my prescriptions just yet. I know my limitations. But, the above listed things really do help me stay in a good place; a rational place. If my favorite scents were somehow mass produced and sold for medicinal purposes, I am most certain that the marketization would render the once powerful potion useless. Because it is not only the horse sweat, but also the horse, it’s not only the baby head, but also the baby nor is it only the puppy breath but most definitely the puppy. For some things there is no shortcut or facsimile. Only the real thing will do.